Miss Essie and her saving grace

Miss Essie was my eighth grade teacher. She was shaped like a pear with the stem attached. Her hair was in a bun and she wore gold-rimmed glasses. I liked her for she demanded from students the most she could get out of them. She also had a rear view mirror concealed in her bun so she could detect our mischief even when she faced the blackboard.

At the beginning of the year she announced that we were going to learn a new word once a week to improve our vocabulary. After stating the new word she would give us the rest of the period to write a short story in which we were to use the word as many times as we could manage. She said with this practice the word would be in our vocabulary as long as we lived. On this particular day she chose the word frugal, which she said meant to save.

This is the story I turned in but I will not share with you the grade I received.

Many years ago a beautiful young maiden was taking a morning walk along the shores of a lake near a castle. As the morning warmed she decided to wade out into the lake to cool off. She lifted the billowing long skirt and walked slowly into the lake. The cool water felt so soothing she kept walking with her arms out-stretched until the skirt floated up to them.

She stumbled on something sending her off balance and into the water. The skirt kept her from swimming to shore and she shouted, “Oh frugal me, frugal me, please frugal me I’m drowning.”

Now a young prince happened to be taking a morning stroll to the lake from his castle and heard her screams. He ran to the lake edge, swam out and frugaled her right in the water. He carried her to the beach where she clung to him thanking him again and again for frugaling her.

The handsome young prince took her to his castle and with his mother’s help and the application of many towels was able to frugal her from her wet clothing. His kindness created an instant bond between them and they fell in love, had a storybook wedding, and lived happily ever after.

The prince, however, despite of his good fortune, felt something was missing in his life. The satisfaction he felt after first frugaling his wife in the lake led him to wonder if he might have a talent for frugaling. While walking along the lake one morning he experienced an epiphany that affirmed his instincts. He did indeed have a gift for frugaling. How could he use this gift for the good of humanity?

He did what any up-standing prince would do. He was led to the financial markets. He established the Princely Frugaling and Loan Bank. This enabled him to accept the frugalings of hundreds in his realm plus paying them interest for the privilege. His bank prospered and his stature rose as a benign ruler.

Well, Miss Essie was right. The word has stayed with me to this day and I am in my 10th decade. Although Miss Essie taught me to frugal in eighth grade, I didn’t fugal very much until my early twenties for I had little with which to frugal. Eventually, like the prince, I met a beautiful young maiden who was a committed frugaler and we married. My wife and I have always been good frugalers. Just because you reach retirement, is no reason to give up frugaling. One is never too old to enjoy the rewards of aggressive frugallling. It’s a great habit to establish when you are young. Then there is that true old saying “There is no frugaler like an old frugaler.”

My friends, this is my story I turned in to Miss Essie as I can best recall. There is actually more to the story but I frugaled it and sent it to Paul Harvey for his radio segment “The rest of the story.” Unfortunately, Paul Harvey died before it aired. I have always wondered if he read it and if he was a frugaler. If he did, I’m sure he would have remembered it the rest of his life but not as long as I have.